Satan Annexes XML Hell
In a move long anticipated by industry observers, Satan, Lord of the Underworld, has finally announced plans to annex XML Hell. "The qualities of XML Hell make it a perfect fit for our business, which is focused mainly on inflicting eternal, unrelenting pain," states Mr. Satan. "It's a natural fit. We just need to decide on a color scheme for this new circle of Hell, and it's a done deal."
Package by Layer Deemed Excremental
The National Coding Board of Health has issued a strong advisory against package-by-layer architectures for web applications. Ms. Abigail Xanadu, co-director of the Board, states that "Package-by-layer should usually not be used. It's particularly unsuitable for those who are sensitive to elevated levels of sarcasm or ridicule."
Geeks Clash, Three Injured
In an apparently unprovoked attack, three Java programmers were assaulted last night as they were leaving a local nightspot. "These C++ coders came out of nowhere, and just jumped us," said one of the victims, speaking with difficulty from his hospital bed. "They just went nuts, yelling about how they used to be king of the hill and all. I'd feel really upset about it, if I wasn't so heavily sedated."
Homo Erectus Builds Fire, Gods Gnash Molars
Mr. Erectus Plays With Fire In a stunning technological breakthrough, Homo Erectus has succeeded in building a small fire. When asked about the practical applications of fire, Mr. Erectus responded "Well, the first time we built a fire, we just sat around it and sang songs... But who knows what will come of it, eh?" The Gods Thor, Zeus, and Agni were near at hand, surveying the scene. They were all visibly distraught at what must surely represent a blow to their power base. "I will wreak havoc and chaos upon all mankind. I am clearing my schedule," said Zeus.
Coders Rock With WEB4J
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In this submitted video, a frustrated programmer relates his recent change from using a migraine-inducing tool set, to using WEB4J. (Song : No Advances from Little Jabs by Two Hours Traffic.)